Do you feel as though you aren’t sick enough? To have an eating disorder, to ask/get help, to have therapy….etc
There is no such thing as ‘not sick enough‘.
Your eating disorder wants you to think that you aren’t sick enough so that you will give in and lose more weight/exercise more / eat less but I promise you, you are <3
This is the most dangerous part of the disorder; your ED is making you believe that you aren’t enough and that losing x amount will make you better. But the thing is that you might lose what it tells you to, but that won’t be enough. You’ll reach it…but anorexia will want you to lose even more and this will keep going until you recover or you die. Death or recovery are the only two options and the more you give into your eating disorder, the further away from recovery you are.
It sounds blunt but it is as simple as that.
The truth is, your eating disorder will never say that you look good, it will always tell you to lose more, it will tell you that you aren’t thin enough and that you can lose a few more pounds. It will find some fat on you and force you to get rid of it….you won’t have a choice. You will be so deep within the disorder that you will start to not notice anything around you, it will pretend to be your friend whilst dragging you away from your real friends who LOVE and CARE for you…but you can’t see it.
Your eating disorder will not stop until you are dead.
If you are reading this, believing that you still aren’t sick enough….this is for you:
You aren’t alone. You don’t have to have been hospitalized, you don’t have to have fainted and you don’t need to lose your period to deserve help. Ignore that voice in your head screaming at you to do more and that you aren’t worthy of recovery because you matter, and YOU ARE ENOUGH! <3
Everyone’s eating disorder is different; just because someone else has gone through different things to you, does NOT mean that you don’t need help, so please reach out. If you catch the eating disorder early, you are 50% less likely to relapse.
This is something I have struggled with for a really long time. I’m not only writing this post for others who are struggling or have struggled, but for myself. I feel like this is something I have to say to myself every single day even though I feel that I’m more or less recovered. I do still have the voice of anorexia in my head every day, but I’m always choosing recovery.
Best wishes, Cx