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Home » Blog posts » Blogmas day 11 | Supporting someone with an eating disorder at Christmas

Blogmas day 11 | Supporting someone with an eating disorder at Christmas

December 21, 2020 9 Comments Filed Under: Blog posts, ED recovery

This is the second part to Coping with an eating disorder at Christmas, I feel that it’s important to know how to support someone else. I really appreciate that a lot of peoples actions are out of love but this post is from someone who has gone through recovery and I know what was and wasn’t good for me.

*Once again, I’m not an expert, these are my opinions and experiences.

Onto the guide…

Don’t comment on how they look

With compliments, regardless of whether they have an eating disorder, do not comment on their weight! That’s rule 101. Just whatever you say, do not say ‘you look well’ – you might think this ok to say but the person who you are saying it to, won’t interpret the way you meant it. I’ve had multiple people tell me this when I was really struggling and it just made me feel guilty.

Minimise social expectations

It’s likely that they will already feel anxious enough without having to talk to lots of people on top of that. A lot of people are very aware of how much/little they are eating and it can be a massive challenge to eat in front of one person, let alone lots of extended family members.

Don’t smother them

It’s important to let them breathe. I know that you probably want to just let them know they are loved and try to make everything easier but it is important to let them have some time alone too.

Alternatively, they may want to be watching the whole cooking process which is ok too. For some people, letting someone else cook is a massive achievement.

Whichever it is, be patient ❤

Don’t rush them

They are trying their hardest and you don’t know how they feel beforehand. They might have to mentally prepare themselves for the meal or whatever, so just give them some time. Especially don’t sigh loudly!

If you can see them struggling, then you could potentially ask if there’s anything you can do – but you’ve gotta be really gentle ❤

Photo by Laura Nyhuis on Unsplash

Avoid conversations about dieting

The WORST thing is when someone says ‘I’ve been on a diet for x weeks so that I can indulge and have this meal’ or ‘I’m gonna have to hit the gyms after all this Christmas food’. It might make them feel like they’re eating too much which then leads to more guilt than what they may have already been feeling.

Furthermore, don’t comment on what anyone else is eating. Things like ‘leave some for us’ or ‘is that all you are eating?’ lead to a negative impact. You might think it is great that they are eating more, do NOT comment on it! They will already be self-conscious that they’re eating more. Also, don’t comment if they are eating less – yes, you might have hoped they would eat more but pointing it out can feel like you have someone constantly watching your every move which is not a nice feeling.

If anyone does bring up weight, new years resolutions to do with dieting etc. then please please divert the conversation and talk about something else. The person struggling will be so thankful even if they don’t show it at the time.

Involve them in meal planning

Yes, not everyone will want to do this. But this is something that could help someone by knowing what they are eating in advance so that they can prepare themselves. Even if it isn’t a specific thing, maybe just like Monday will be pasta, Tuesday a roast, Wednesday a burger etc.

Also, if for some reason plans have to change, give as much notice as possible. Change is something that everyone struggles with so make sure that you explain why it had to change and give them time to work through it ❤

I have created a weekly meal planner template that includes space for 3 meals and snacks!

Don’t expect too much

It is completely possible that there will be fear foods out on the table at Christmas. Yes, it is a good idea to challenge fear foods but not all at once. If you pile on too many fear foods, it can be too hard and there might be too much guilt which can halt the whole recovery process. If you offer something and they say no, please don’t force them to eat it xx

Take the focus away from food

Whilst Christmas food is yummy and the dinner is a big deal, it isn’t everything that Christmas is about. It is about spending time with your loved ones, giving presents, having fun etc. So, as soon as the meal is over, concentrate on something else. It is likely that they will be feeling guilty so the best thing to do is distract, distract, distract! Board games are something that I always love and are a great distraction ❤

I hope this has helped xx

Best wishes, Cx

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Blogmas day 10 | Christmas treats
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Blogmas day 12 | My Christmas favourites

About Caroline

Welcome to Enviroline Blog 💗
I blog to raise awareness about the environment and mental health - specifically eating disorder recovery.
I upload every Sunday and some Wednesdays.

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Comments

  1. Molly @ Transatlantic Notes says

    December 21, 2020 at 1:29 pm

    Very helpful points here — I’m going to share this with some people who may struggle with this.

    Reply
    • envirolineblog says

      December 21, 2020 at 1:38 pm

      Thank you so much! x

      Reply
  2. Sophie | Love and Literature (@Love_Lit_Blog) says

    December 21, 2020 at 5:44 pm

    Very informative post, I imagine so many people with eating disorders struggle at this time of year. Thanks for sharing and Merry Christmas! x

    Sophie | https://www.loveandliterature.co.uk

    Reply
    • envirolineblog says

      December 25, 2020 at 9:58 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting, means so much to me <3 x

      Reply
  3. nattbarletta says

    December 21, 2020 at 7:14 pm

    These are great things to keep in mind — I’ll be sharing this for those who struggle with it!

    Reply
    • envirolineblog says

      December 25, 2020 at 9:59 pm

      Thank you so much! xx

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. My 2020 roundup – Enviroline Blog says:
    January 3, 2021 at 11:21 am

    […] had a bit of a down day where I was starting to feel guilty for eating again – I opened up to my mum about this because I really do not want to go down that path […]

    Reply
  2. Blogmas day 8 | Coping with an eating disorder at Christmas - Enviroline Blog says:
    March 24, 2021 at 6:15 pm

    […] going to be a second part to this post where I talk about how you can support someone with an eating disorder this Christmas – stay tuned […]

    Reply
  3. Eco-friendly stocking filler guide - Enviroline Blog says:
    December 19, 2021 at 3:56 pm

    […] stocking filler guide is food. Just remember to be wary of those with mental health conditions or eating disorders, we don’t always appreciate being given food. It’s important to remember that Christmas […]

    Reply

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Welcome to Enviroline Blog. I’m Caroline and I am currently in my second year at Bournemouth University studying Environmental Science.

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Lunch break @arubabournemouth before continuing with revision for my exam on Monday! 
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I was so happy to see that they weren’t any calories on the menu 🎉 and of course had to go on the beach 🌊 Saw the goats on the cliff, on the way down to the beach 🐐 
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#arubabournemouth #bournemouthbeach #bournemouthblogger #bournemouthbloggers @bournemouthbloggers #ecoblogger #bloggersunder5k #sunnybournemouth #studentblogger
Lunch break @arubabournemouth before continuing with revision for my exam on Monday! 
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I was so happy to see that they weren’t any calories on the menu 🎉 and of course had to go on the beach 🌊 Saw the goats on the cliff, on the way down to the beach 🐐 
-
#arubabournemouth #bournemouthbeach #bournemouthblogger #bournemouthbloggers @bournemouthbloggers #ecoblogger #bloggersunder5k #sunnybournemouth #studentblogger
Lunch break @arubabournemouth before continuing with revision for my exam on Monday! 
-
I was so happy to see that they weren’t any calories on the menu 🎉 and of course had to go on the beach 🌊 Saw the goats on the cliff, on the way down to the beach 🐐 
-
#arubabournemouth #bournemouthbeach #bournemouthblogger #bournemouthbloggers @bournemouthbloggers #ecoblogger #bloggersunder5k #sunnybournemouth #studentblogger
Lunch break @arubabournemouth before continuing with revision for my exam on Monday! 
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I was so happy to see that they weren’t any calories on the menu 🎉 and of course had to go on the beach 🌊 Saw the goats on the cliff, on the way down to the beach 🐐 
-
#arubabournemouth #bournemouthbeach #bournemouthblogger #bournemouthbloggers @bournemouthbloggers #ecoblogger #bloggersunder5k #sunnybournemouth #studentblogger
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Lunch break @arubabournemouth before continuing with revision for my exam on Monday! - I was so happy to see that they weren’t any calories on the menu 🎉 and of course had to go on the beach 🌊 Saw the goats on the cliff, on the way down to the beach 🐐 - #arubabournemouth #bournemouthbeach #bournemouthblogger #bournemouthbloggers @bournemouthbloggers #ecoblogger #bloggersunder5k #sunnybournemouth #studentblogger
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Always take time to stop and smell the flowers 💐 
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In love with this dress❣️🌸 - Bought this dress from @vinted but it’s originally from @nobodyschild which makes it an even better purchase! Giving something a second life is already amazing, but from a sustainable company means that it should be made from sustainable materials 🪡 - What’s your fave 2nd hand clothing purchase? 👗 - #sustainableliving #sustainableblogger #ecoblogger #secondhand #secondhandfinds #secondhandclothes #vintedtreasures #thriftedfinds #ecolifestyle
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Some tulips to brighten up your day🌷 - Happy Bank Holiday Monday 💓 I wish I could have the day off to relax, but I have two assignments & two exams this month which I am behind on 😬📚 - What did you get up to today? It’s so gloomy here ☁️ - #tulipsofinstagram #naturephotography #tulipphotography #ecofriendlyblogger #tuliplover #studentblogger #examseason #tulipstobrightenmyday #springsparkles #bloggersunder5k
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Today I’m sharing my favourite eco-friendly swaps 🌍 - •Wild deodorant have the best scents 😍My fave is strawberry which is part of the summer collection! 🍓(link in my bio to get a free case) •Who Gives A Crap toilet roll are so worth the money. They have more sheets than standard ones which means they last longer! •Reusable water bottle is an essential for anyone and everyone 💧 •Once you start using reusable make up pads, you won’t go back to wipes. I’ve had mine for over 2 years and are still in perfect use! •Ocean Saver drops come in multiple scents for their different uses. I’m currently using their antibacterial one which I love •I love using my mum’s homemade soap so much. She makes ones in different shapes, scents & colours. My favourite is the cat shaped lavender bar 🐱 - What’s your favourite eco-friendly swap? 💚 - #ecofriendlyswaps #sustainableswaps #ecofriendlyblogger #sustainableblogger #ecoswaps #wilddeodorant #whogivesacraptoiletpaper #oceansaverdrops #oceansaver #homemadesoap #reusablemakeuppads #reusablewaterbottle #sustainableliving
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Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
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Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
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#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
-
Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
-
#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
-
Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
-
#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
-
Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
-
#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
-
Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
-
#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
-
Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
-
#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
-
Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
-
#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
Happy Earth Day! 🌍 
-
Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋
-
#sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
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Happy Earth Day! 🌍 - Here is some of the beautiful nature and wildlife that I’ve seen recently 🌸 if you get a chance this weekend, go outside and look for butterflies. There are quite a few species out now so hopefully you’ll see one or two🦋 - #sustainableblogger #wildlifeblogger #natureblogger #aprilwildlife #bournemouthblogger #cheltenhamblogger #aprilbutterflies #orangetipbutterfly #peacockbutterfly #speckledwoodbutterfly #earthday #earthdayeveryday #earthday2022
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Tulips from the garden 🌷 
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Tulips from the garden 🌷 - #tulipsgarden #tulipgarden #springtulips #tulipphotography #naturephotographer #wildlifephotography #gardennature #discoverunder2k #microblogger #natureblogger #wildlifeblogger #uktulips
2 months ago
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7/10
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️
-
#eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
envirolineblog
envirolineblog
•
Follow
I hate that the government have gone ahead with their decision to make calories on menus mandatory. It will impact so many people with eating disorders and that breaks my heart. I would consider myself recovered, but the new menus worry me. I have come up with a few ways to try and cope with calories on menus. Please read & share ❤️ - #eatingdisorderawareness #copingwithcalories #copingwitheatingdisorders #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderblogger #edblogger #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthblogger @beatedsupport @beatingeatingdisorders
2 months ago
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8/10
Happy April 🐰
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I took this photo in Bournemouth central gardens a couple of weekends ago 🌸
A blog post on April wildlife to spot in the UK went live yesterday ~ have a read when you have time 🦋
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What is your favourite spring flower? 🌷
-
#natureblogger #happyapril #newmonth #springflower #springtree #magnoliatree #naturephotography #wildlifephotography #ecoblogger #sustainableliving #bournemouthblogger #bloggersunder5k
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Happy April 🐰 - I took this photo in Bournemouth central gardens a couple of weekends ago 🌸 A blog post on April wildlife to spot in the UK went live yesterday ~ have a read when you have time 🦋 - What is your favourite spring flower? 🌷 - #natureblogger #happyapril #newmonth #springflower #springtree #magnoliatree #naturephotography #wildlifephotography #ecoblogger #sustainableliving #bournemouthblogger #bloggersunder5k
2 months ago
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9/10
Check out my review of @bowercollective ‘s lavender washing up liquid new to my blog! 
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They currently have an amazing deal where you can get £15 off with orders over £20 & a FREE Tony’s Chocolonely bar! The link is in my bio 🎉
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#sustainableblogger #bowercollective #ecowashingupliquid #sustainableswaps #ecoblogger #ecofriendlyblogger #newblogpost #ecofriendlyproducts #bournemouthblogger #sustainability #sustainableliving #cheltenhambloggersuk #cheltenhamblogger
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Check out my review of @bowercollective ‘s lavender washing up liquid new to my blog! - They currently have an amazing deal where you can get £15 off with orders over £20 & a FREE Tony’s Chocolonely bar! The link is in my bio 🎉 - #sustainableblogger #bowercollective #ecowashingupliquid #sustainableswaps #ecoblogger #ecofriendlyblogger #newblogpost #ecofriendlyproducts #bournemouthblogger #sustainability #sustainableliving #cheltenhambloggersuk #cheltenhamblogger
3 months ago
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