Welcome back to my blog! Today’s post was written by Kayleigh from Confidently Kayleigh who is a body-positive and mental health blogger. Something I haven’t covered on my blog much is anxiety because I don’t really know what my advice would be. Kayleigh has offered some of her top tips for coping with anxiety.
Firstly, I’d like to start by saying that no two people with Anxiety are the same.
The best example that I can give of this, is the misconception that people with Anxiety do not like public speaking…I love it!!
I’m actually less comfortable with one on one talking. Unless there is a particular reason for the conversation I can get really awkward and uncomfortable.
For the things that I do struggle with, such as the one on one chat, I’ve developed some coping strategies over the years. Here are my top tips for coping with anxiety.
Challenge your negative/limiting beliefs
For example, I don’t like one on one conversations because I think the person will think I’m nosey, prying.
I challenged this by finding evidence against this ‘fact’. I discovered with this particular one that most people love the opportunity to talk about themselves. Also, I discovered that when I did ask questions, I got a positive response and engaged with the person.
This is where our tendency to overthink can come in useful. Use that to research evidence for and against your belief, to see how true this ‘fact’ is.
Related post: How to deal with change
How would my fear become reality?
A big part of my Anxiety borders on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Every night I check the switches in my house, up to ten times depending on how stressed I am.
A lot of this is around safety.
So, I start with the Dryer, if I accidentally left plugged in, I’d have to also have clothes in it and for it to be switched on for anything like a fire to start.
The cooker (I’ve not used my cooker for over a year ironically because of a fire). So to start with the switch is off, if it wasn’t, the hob/grill/oven would also have to be on. It would also be unlikely to set on fire unless there was something in the oven/on the grill…plus it’s electric (no naked flame).
Related post: The complete guide to weighted blankets by Nicki from Positively Lifestyle
What’s the worst that can happen?
If I’m worried about something, I try and think of the worst possible thing that can happen as the result of what I am worried about, then I remind myself that as well as not being very likely, I could also totally handle it. (Worrying is almost always worst than the actual thing).
For example, if I make a mistake with a letter, I could lose my job, not be able to pay my rent, end up homeless. In reality, I would have to make a few rather big (CASS Breach) mistakes, to be taken to disciplinary, the first step to losing my job, I would also be offered coaching and guidance before I got to the point that I was on a final warning and eventually fired. During this time, I would probably be thinking, I’m not very good at this job, I need to find another and have other things in place for my rent, should I lose my job.
Sleeping (can be used when your head is racing in general)
So, I started counting sheep to fall asleep, I read somewhere that it takes around 20 minutes to fall asleep, I also read that counting backwards helps too, and it does sometimes.
For when it doesn’t, I use the alphabet, I started out with boys and girls names, but the more that I did this, the faster I got through them, and the less I had to think…which is when the racing, intrusive thoughts started.
So, I made the game harder, I started to try and think of singers/songs/bands/tv/film. I also use character names from one particular program (at the minute it’s Gilmore Girls or AHS) and up to now, I’ve never gotten to Z.
The reason I do this is so that my mind is occupied, it’s quite easy to count and think of work/family, a mistake you made 20years ago, but with the ‘ABC game’ you have to think about it, which means it takes you away from the interfering, worrying thoughts.
I hope this was helpful for any of you readers who are suffering and looking for some relief. I get a bit sick of seeing the same generic anxiety tips myself, so I created some alternatives and I hope they can help you too.
For more, read Is mindfulness the anxiety solution? by Good Life & Mind
What are your tips for coping with anxiety?
Thank you to Kayleigh for writing this brilliant post! You can find her socials below:
Best wishes, Cx
Amazing post pet with wonderful tips on managing the montorious anxiety! Keep fighting it and it gets easier.
Thank you x
This will be of great help 🙂 Thankyou for sharing
Thank you 🙂
I know where you are coming from with light switches; I have the same problem with checking doors are locked before bedtime. And I do the counting backwards thing, too, when trying to drop off to sleep. Good post.
Thank you for reading x
Great tips! I think working through your limiting beliefs is so helpful. Thanks so much for sharing how you cope with anxiety!
Thank you for reading x
I have suffered with bad anxiety in the past and I’ve used these tips before and they have most certainly helped, a great post x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Aw, that’s great that they have helped x
Great points here. I normally get anxious before work starts for the week and these suggestions are useful.
I totally relate!
Great tips from Kayleigh! I’m very much the same in that public speaking, singing acting, I have no problem with. It’s the one on one conversations that make me quite anxious. I use the same kind of sleeping tricks but also try to do some yoga or meditation just before sleep too 🙂
I feel you x
A lovely post with productive tips. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you 🙂
I really appreciate this post Caroline! I love how you’ve identified that anxiety isn’t the same in everyone which is helpful to break any misconceptions. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks x
These are such great tips. Thanks so much for sharing them!
Thank you x
I just give myself a good talking to, it’s something similar to ‘whats the worst that could happen’ and I remind myself that other people are just other people and everything will be fine!
Corinne x
Thank you for reading x
2016 was a big year for me. It’s when I moved to a new country and I realized I had a lot of limiting beliefs about myself and the way I grew up. When you change the way you think, your decisions change. When you challenge your limiting beliefs, your actions change and different action leads different results. Thanks for the post 🙂
So true!
I’ve been trying to challenge my behaviours when they turn out to be negative and that is helping a lot! Sleeping would be a great one – but when my mind is racing a thousand miles an hour I find it impossible to put it to sleep. Great tips here Caroline x
I feel you with the sleep x
Great tips! I love the idea of thinking of the worst that can happen and the ABC method for when you can’t sleep – I’ll have to try that one out, it sounds like such a great way of keeping your mind engaged rather than worrying! Thanks for sharing x
So true x
Sleeping is one of the things I do most when I’m anxious. If I can sleep that is. It really helps me reset and I normally feel a lot better after. I also like to try and relax or escape. Bubble baths and cuddling up in bed watching some nonsense TV can help me relax. But when I’m super anxious sometimes nothing helps
I feel you x
Hello, this post is incredible! I suffer with anxiety and worrying about the worst happening but this post is really going to help! Challenging my limiting beliefs has been the turning point for me! Alicia
Thank you x
I use the “what’s the worst that could happen” almost every day! Especially with work related stress, the worst that I could get is maybe getting fired but I wouldn’t die so this won’t kill me. Sleep is also so important! Water too and I neglect both of these sadly.
I’ve got a terrible sleep schedule too :/ But at least we can acknowledge it I guess! x
These are some great tips! Thank you for sharing. I definitely think a good sleep routine and meditation really help me, and a good exercise routine. Xx
So true x
I think the tip that resonates most with me is what’s the worst that can happen? When I actually rationalise a likely outcome, it’s nowhere near as bad as I imagine it could be. But love all these tips, super helpful guest post! x
I totally feel you x
I have not tried counting sheep for when I struggle with sleep (which thankfully hasn’t been in a long while) and I’m surprised it actually works! When I did struggle with sleep, I found that I needed to practice very specific sleep hygiene like making the room pitch black, staying off of screens before bed and some other strategies. Glad the sheep counting helped you.
Staying off screens before bed seems to help me too 🙂
Challenging negative thoughts are great. I constantly tell myself when I have a negative thought come into my brain, this was in the past and I don’t need to dwell on this matter anymore. Great tips.
Thank you
Love your alternative tips. Thanks for sharing your journey. My faves are probably common 😀 … Sitting in silence for at least a few minutes a day helps and gives me practice. Love that you are substituting other thoughts and distracting yourself at times. Doing something that requires focus, because the mind can’t fully concentrate on two things at once. Martial arts is good for that for me. All the best!
Ooh martial arts sounds cool!
Thanks for sharing this. My mom has anxiety and it’s extremely difficult to navigate. Wonderful tips!
Thank you x
Great guest post, Caroline! I find that brain dumping is what helps me with anxiety especially when I’m overwhelmed at the same time too. I like the idea of counting sheep before you fall asleep! I should do that x
Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
So true x
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Great post. Talking out what you are worrying about and having a reality check, helps a lot. I’ve struggled with anxiety for decades, and have come a long, long way!
Definitely x